I sit alone at night, in front of the computer, sleepless again.
I’m not sure what I have done, nor am I sure if there is any potential in that.
I still wonder about my future, what I am to be, what concept should I have, or what limits and space should I be in.
I don’t know.
At the same time, I am again saddened by myself for not having the capability to know it myself. Am I weak that I cannot do so myself? Yet, why is it that careful planning is important rather than hasty work? Why does it seem to me that all others around me are hasty for results from me?
What am I? Who am I? What frame am I to live in?
I don’t know. All I am conscious is of the fact that I am conscious, and therefore I seek to explore what is the truth. I am conscious that there are many lives around and all I did was to find an answer and develop myself accordingly.
What are these acts of defiance that I hold in my heart? And what is the third way mean to me? Why can’t I make sustained success in the things I do?
Is man dictated by what happens around or by what happens within?
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